Natural Stepping Stones to Self-Discovery
by Jackie Hill -12/12/2007

It is now becoming more and more accepted that as human beings we learn more easily if we are in a relaxed stated of mind. Furthermore, for many of us, personal experience has a deeper impact on learning than any other method. I made a personal discovery of this, when many years ago whilst studying for A-level psychology, I came across the theory that repetitive learning, i.e. hearing things over and over again, we can absorb more information without a great deal of effort than if we strive to achieve. At that time my lifestyle was extremely stressful and busy, I was working full time and raising a family, so the additional stress of studying and revising for exams was something I did not really relish the thought of. Having a naturally analytical mind, I decided I would put this theory to the test and set out summarizing my notes in bullet form with a few quotes here and there, and recording them on tape (oh those good old days!). I then listened to the tapes (I had recorded several) in random form at every available opportunity, when I traveled in the car; and at night I would go to sleep with the tape recording playing. You will be pleased to hear I wore small ear phones so my husband was not subjected to hearing my voice all through the night!

Lo and behold the date for the examination drew near, and I still had not “revised” in the conventional sense by taking notes, going over old exam papers, reading etc. I must add at times I did feel this was a bit risky, but if I was going to do this experiment properly then I could not compromise. Furthermore, I had left it a bit late to start revision, and had no time in my busy life to cram information under last minute stress. Any fears I might have had were squashed in that two weeks before the exam, sadly my father died and with all things in perspective, passing the A-level with flying colours was not my major concern.

The day came for the exam and surprisingly so did the answers. As I sat down to do the test, my mind cleared and with calm precision I scribbled away on the exam paper. Others finished before me and left the examination room, which disturbed me a little as it seemed I had so much more to write about. With each question I read, an answer came back to me in my mind, along with quotations. A-levels are not about learning and regurgitating facts, but more about presenting logical arguments and critique. I was amazed how I had somehow reached conclusions in my thinking and found the exercise an excellent way of formulating my own arguments and conclusions recalling many quotations to support my opinion. I finished the paper within 5 minutes of the deadline, handed it in, and thought little more about it. My feelings were of relief that it was all over and there was nothing more I could do.
  
The results of my experiment were staggering. I had achieved grade A+ and more importantly had made the discovery that learning can be relatively effortless if we use our brains effectively.

The practice of meditation uses this method to some degree. The primary aim is to clear the mind totally of any thoughts, which without practice is hard to achieve. However, we can build up to this gradually by uncluttering our minds by focusing on a particular object or sentence, when we do this we find that whatever it is we are meditating on becomes deeply embedded in our subconscious minds allowing it to generate awareness and knowledge to our conscious mind.

Today, as a qualified psychotherapist this comparatively easy way of absorbing information underpins my approach in working with clients. Together we eliminate the word “try” from our vocabulary as the brain receives it as a word which requires effort. Also our brains connect the word “try” with “success and failure” - a game of chance. My approach is to encourage my client to make a decision either to “do it” or “not to do it”. If they choose to “do it” rather than “try to do it” then it becomes a step-by-step approach in identifying the goals need to achieve, and the necessary knowledge and skills needed to attain success.

In applying self-hypnosis, we learn two key skills, the first is how to still our conscious mind, and the second is to imagine a “middle eye” in which we can ‘turn inwards’ to look inside our subconscious mind. Once we can achieve this we can explore our feelings, core beliefs and their roots, and develop effective communication between the sub-conscious and the conscious mind. By bringing things that have been hidden from us in the subconscious, into our awareness, our understanding of who we are and what we are about begins to unfold.

Throughout this process, in order for us to achieve maximum awareness, it is of utmost importance that we feel safe and supported. It is therefore essential to learn how to apply ones own “place of safety”. The support initially may come from your therapist, but the goal to achieve is to strengthen your own inner resources to help you. There are a number of different ways you can be helped to learn how to achieve this.
   
As we grow into awareness, and see things as they are not as they were, we also attain growth in our self-esteem. The more we value and love our self, we become less reliant on others to do this for us and consequently become a more grounded, resourceful human being with a sense of direction, instead of being tossed about on the seas of fate and uncertainty. We cannot accept who we are and expect others to like/love us if we do not know and love ourselves first. This is fundamental to being and feeling secure.
 
All this creates positive energy, which we project outwards to others, to all we meet, and to our employers, friends and loved ones. Positive energy originating from a true source from within (rather than a pretend mask of “everything is fine when it is not”) is attractive, as others feel more comfortable and confident around us. We come across as genuine and generate feelings of love and kindness to others, that our friendships grow, and life starts to feel good. In turn this positive energy we receive from others will help feed our own positivism and success.

Often in our lives we have no space, and become suffocated by the demands from others and from ourselves. Life becomes stressful. We want to please others, and achieve success (Whatever we perceive that to be), otherwise we feel “not good enough”. We often prop up our low self-esteem by our consumerism in material goods.  In living this lifestyle we do not live in the present moment. We live in the past (trying to compensate for our mistaken beliefs about ourselves) and in the future (constantly watching the clock planning our next task, tomorrow, next week etc). By not being “present” we miss out in the here and now. We miss all that each minute of our lives has to offer, in fact we are in conflict with the rest of nature – our body is here in the present but our minds and feelings are elsewhere. For example; when was the last time you were “present” during eating a meal? I can recall many times I would eat a sandwich for lunch either at my desk working, or driving in the car. To receive pleasure we need to use all of our  5 major senses (visual; sound; taste; smell and feeling) yet we often eat mindlessly whilst doing other things like watching the television, or even in some cases we have guilty thoughts about what we are eating. Not only do we miss out on the pleasure of the food, but it my belief that we also miss out on giving our bodies the full nutritional value of the meal.

This leads me on to what we offer at La Platriere in France, where I run self-awareness workshops and 1-1 life-coaching sessions. Why France? According to records the Auvergne is the least populated area in France with the lowest rainfall. It has 2 national parks of outstanding beauty and is part of the Massif Central. The horizons go on forever and there is a sense of space and freedom. Away from the madding crowd, in the midst of tranquility, beauty and nature, it is the perfect environment for relaxing and reflection.  Many of our guests leave having discovered a whole new world that they had previously not been aware of.
 
We set up La Platriere as a place for people to just BE! To enjoy the natural surroundings, the food, the peace and tranquility.  To breathe fresh air and see for miles, to create a feeling of freedom within oneself. It is the perfect stage from which to achieve self-awareness – knowledge about oneself, as a stepping stone towards change and a better way of life for the future. The founder of Gestalt Therapy, Fritz Perle is quoted as saying that “awareness is key to change”. We cannot change what we are not aware of.  His teachings are applied in the “here and now” – the present moment. However, as an integrative psychotherapist, I believe for some people there is a need to deal with the past before you can be free in the present, and for me it was important to be trained in a range of different theories and models of practice. I believe that as human beings we are all unique individuals, and it does not suit to have one particular model of working for everyone, but rather be equipped with a toolbox of multi-skills available to suit the person. As a psychotherapist my approach is integrative and as such I adapt myself to my client’s needs instead of adapting my client to a particular theoretical model

 To quote a metaphor; you will never fit a round peg into a square hole!
  
If you feel some of things I have discussed here are resonating within you, why not take a look at what we have to offer here at La Platriere. As well as staying in a beautiful and relaxed environment, you will learn a selection of relaxation techniques to help you achieve a deeper relaxed state of mind where deep reflection can bring forth personal enlightenment. The workshops consist of a mixture of practical teaching, and experiential exercises to help you achieve self-awareness, healing and the ability to tap into your own resources. There will be lots of fun, and laughter, and opportunities to make new friends. You will work on your own personal action plan with goals to work towards once you leave here. You will learn how to live in the present, become more self-aware, take control of your life, making a change for the rest of your life ahead.

A Tale of Sowing and Reaping
By Jackie Hill
24/10/2009

"For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad.” – Edwin Teale

I am constantly amazed and moved by nature and the natural order of things. It is true we are part of a huge system which has re-generated and re-energized in a tireless fashion ever since the world began. Whether we like it or not, our world is part of us and we are part of it, yet on the face of it, it may seem an unequal relationship, as we need the world in order to survive, it seemingly does not need us, and certainly does not need our interference confounding the order of things.

Since moving to France Andy and I have become enthusiastic gardeners, and enjoy planning the vegetable and fruit gardens, and maintaining the orchard. Its just as well we are keen about these projects as the time, hard work and energy required to grow a good crop of veggies adds up to a significant number of hours of hard graft.
This tremendous effort is to produce a reasonable size vegetable plot to provide food for our table. The goal towards which all our planning, preparation and toil is aimed, is the overwhelming feeling of success and achievement when we serve and eat the fruits of our labour. We share with pride our harvest with others, our guests, friends and neighbours. Everything tastes so much better which enhances even further the feel-good factor. But it’s not just the end result which brings fulfillment.

At each stage in the process we have a sense of wonder and satisfaction, as the tiny little seed we planted gradually changes into the fruit or vegetable we want to harvest. Each stage is a success story in itself, an accomplishment. Our harvest is the result of the conception of an idea – a tiny seed of thought. But we didn’t do this all on our own. Imagine for a moment, how much hard work and time we would need to put in if it was left to us humans to provide the worlds “greenery” without any help from nature. Nature takes care of sowing by scattering seeds asunder on the winds of autumn. Each seed is covered by the fallen leaves, protecting it from the extreme cold of winter, during which time the leaves decay transforming into wonderful nutrient rich soil in which the seed feeds from. While we are busy harvesting, nature is already ahead of us, working towards next year’s harvest. So we have a perfect partnership offered to us, by understanding how nature works and the natural laws it abides to.

The whole reason for sowing is to reap a harvest. This is a free gift – one we should treasure.

One of my greatest pleasures this year was collecting “free food” from the hedges in the garden; we collected blackberries, sloes, wild cherries and Mirabelle plums. We even picked our own mushrooms. These foods were a wonderful gift as they did not have a price tag, and required no work or effort from us. If there is no sowing there is no harvest. This winter Andy and I will have to think about what we want to harvest next year before we start any work on preparing the ground. We will need to plan carefully, using the knowledge we have learnt, and we need to buy the right seeds to produce the harvest we want to reap.

This principle of reaping what you sow is very true in all aspects of our lives – in scientific terms it is the law of cause and effect which everything in our universe is subject to. Whether we like it or not – it is the way it is. For example; we all can accept that global warming is the effect – the consequence, of the way we treat our planet. This knowledge means that there is a system within which all things in this universe are subject to. If we understand this principle we can work within the system and gain knowledge and power in our lives that we never thought were possible - we can achieve success in our goals or alternatively if we choose, we can live in ignorance and not apply the rules of this principle in our lives and as such never achieve our potential and our dreams.

As we are part of a grand system, a natural order of things, we all come under the law of cause and effect and in all different ways. In our transactions with others, the decisions we make and the things we do, will have consequences for ourselves and others – good or bad. We are constantly sowing seeds which one day we will reap a harvest from.

With this awareness we all need to give a lot of thought to what we do and say. Let’s take this a step further and think about how our thoughts, values and beliefs affect us and those around us, these again are seeds which will one day bear fruit if we feed and nurture them. For example negative beliefs, if nurtured and fed, will grow into reality in our lives, we will see ourselves as victims, and failures, and we might not even like ourselves. We will certainly not achieve the things we want to. The good news is that if we culture positive beliefs then the outcome for ourselves and our lives will be positive – if we believe we are successful, we will be successful. A seed will only produce fruit of the same kind, or to put another way if you plant a tomato seed it will never produce an apple no matter what you do to try and make it happen!

Often people do not understand the true value of themselves. Quite often someone will have a dream or goal they want to achieve, and will say to me “it will never happen to me” or “I haven’t got the skills and/or courage to do that”. Or they will be present a list of obstacles that stops them from achieving their goals. These are negative beliefs and these seeds will produce exactly what the person believes about themselves, unless they change that attitude and believe positively they will never achieve their goal.

Let’s go back to seeds for a moment. Your tomato seed is a full grown tomato fruit. You can’t see it yet, but it does not mean its not there. In that tiny seed is the fullness of the tomato – everything it needs to become a tomato - it’s all there wrapped up in that seed. Its sole purpose of its existence is to be a tomato. Everything it does focuses on being a tomato. If all that information and promise is inside a tiny seed, just think of what resources are inside each one of us – that’s right you and me!

I believe each one of us is a unique individual with a purpose in life, and that we need to access our resource to find out what it is. That purpose is inside each one of us – it’s called “the fulfillment of our potential”. The tomato seed will stay just a tomato seed unless it is fed and nurtured. Then it will grow and achieve its potential. Likewise all we need to do fulfill our purpose is to nurture and feed our dream, our vision of what we want to be and the goals in life we want to achieve.

Another thing I often hear is “I will be happy when…………” Often people believe happiness is when they achieve their goal. In doing this they miss out on the joy of the journey and feeling of success at each stage of the way. Because our minds are programmed to seek pleasure not pain, if we believe we are not happy “until”, then everyday life soon becomes a drudge and aiming for our goals become burdensome.

Remember a few paragraphs back I talked about the stages of change that comes from a seed to the mature plant ripe with fruit. Each stage is an accomplishment, each stage is a success story, and each stage is amazing! The secret of living a successful and happy life is to be present in each moment, to enjoy the journey, to seize the day making the most of life’s opportunities, to sow good seeds that later on will be harvested.
Quite often the reason why most people never achieve their goals is because they don’t know how to. They don’t understand the system, the order of things that are already in place which the whole universe adheres to, and they try to achieve their goals working outside of it. The most important thing to remember is to work with the system and let’s face it if you think your system is better than the one already in place, then think again – you may be backing a loser from the start.

Often people fail to reach their goals because they do not apply the principal of Cause and Effect (sowing and reaping) in their planning. For example, lets say your goal is to become a professional golfer – this is the desired Effect or in reaping and sowing terminology the Harvest. It is vital therefore to sow the correct seeds so they bear the fruit of your labour. How do you do that? Well for starters you need to know exactly what your goal looks like. You need to visualize in full colour yourself as a professional golfer, enter that image and feel the emotions of having achieved your goal before you’ve done anything else. Without fully knowing and feeling what your goal is like, how do you know you really want it, and at the same time, in doing this exercise you will become aware of what emotional hurdles you need to overcome to get there.

Having a firm picture of what you want, and feeding from the emotions that visualization gives you, also maintains your focus. You know where you are going, and you know what it looks like and feels like, and you will know when you have arrived there. In other words you will know exactly what seeds to sow – the cause (actions) to create the desired effect. By jumping into the future – the end result, you can look back at the different stages you took to get there. Looking at things from the perspective that they’ve already been achieved, helps you see them from a point of view that any hurdles have already been conquered and thereby not feeling so overwhelming and daunting.

What all this does is to enable your mind to believe that you can achieve these things, as someone once said “what the mind conceives and believes it can achieve”. The other point I want to make is that because we are part of a system, there is an even bigger plan, other than just fulfilling our own personal purpose.

Take for example my simple tomato seed that fulfils its purpose by becoming a tomato plant. It bears fruit which becomes a food to another life outside of itself and thereby contributing to their growth and purpose. Furthermore the humble tomato will produces lots and lots of seeds which (if not eaten) will sow and in turn produce many more tomato plants thereby multiplying itself by many times. Also when it withers and dies it returns back to the soil. Nothing is wasted.

Just like our lives and experiences – even our mistakes are lessons in life and even our suffering can become a benefit to others. In the same way we have a contribution to make to the each other and the world. We have something to give back to the system and something to our future sons and daughters. Each one of us has this responsibility.

Be in harmony with nature’s system and sing from the same song sheet and you will reap a grand harvest. By giving back to others we are in service to our communities and each other. In this way they grow and our harvest from them is even bigger than we dreamed possible, making our own lives the sweeter. So look to the harvest and then sow the seeds, remembering the principle that you will always reap what you sow. Focus your energy towards a worthy goal and you will be happy enjoying each stage of the journey.
To use a biblical quote “you only need the faith (belief) of a mustard seed to move mountains”. Why mustard seed – because it is one of the tiniest seeds there is. What mountains are you aiming to climb and what seeds are you sowing this autumn?

This article was written by Jackie Hill, Integrative psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner. Jackie lives in France with her husband Andy, running a retreat, and self-development workshops. If you need help in learning how Time Line therapy, visualization and life-coaching can achieve your goals, contact Jackie today.
Telephone 0033 (0)470679426.

Why is it for most of us that New Year Resolutions fail?
17/04/2009
Article by Jackie Hill

Do you realize that most people have just as much chance of winning the lottery as succeeding with their New Year resolutions?
Yet despite suffering repeated emotional self-judgments such as feelings of guilt, blame and failure, every year like some perverse magnet many people are drawn to do it again and again.

Research has shown that 80% of New Year Resolutions are broken by the end of January, and if they are to do with health, even earlier – by the 2nd week of the year! Remarkably around only 5% manage to persevere to the end of the year.
If you are one of the 95%, what stops you from achieving success? After all, you are doing it because you want to. Aren’t you? What do YOU really want?
Taken at face value, this question may be easy to answer, for example you may want to stop smoking, lose weight, be successful in business, be more active etc. Yet unless you stop to think about it and ask yourself the reasons why you want those things and in what ways will your life change if you succeed, are you really in a position to decide what it is you really want?

I have found that often when I ask people I work with what it is that they really want and reasons why they want it, a common answer is usually a list of things that they don’t want – for example, a person wanting to stop smoking might say “because I don’t want lung cancer” or “because I can’t afford to smoke anymore”. Rarely does someone say “because I want to breathe fresh air and feel fit and healthy” or “because I want to save up and travel”. Furthermore, some people might say the reason why they want to stop is “because my family is worried about my health”. This is more about what other people want for them than what they want for themselves.

So why do people usually compose negative lists of “don’t wants” when asked what it is they want? Why is it they do not usually answer with the positive things they are seeking? Unfortunately, this is because most people have learnt to think in the negative sense most of the time.

So here’s what happens for a lot of people when making New Year resolutions (or any resolutions for that matter!). They choose their goal without really flushing out what it is exactly what they want; in other words they have an idea of a goal built up from a series of “don’t wants”. This poses a problem regarding results which is why most resolutions fizzle out. This is because a law of the mind is that it is impossible for your brain to process negatives.

Let me explain. If I say to you now “don’t think of a pink elephant walking across the room” what did you think of? You had to think of a pink elephant walking across the room, which is precisely what I asked you not to think of. This is because before the brain can negate something it has to think of it first.

Here’s another one “don’t think of a castle”. It’s impossible not to think of a castle. Get the picture? The key word that triggers this process is the negative phrase “don’t” which is in actual fact two words “do not”. Notice how our language considers the positive “do” followed by the negative “not”.

In these questions I am giving conflicting commands to your brain. I am asking your brain to do something then saying not after it.

As an exercise just think about the following “has” and “hasn’t” “have” and “haven’t”; “did” and “didn’t” “is” and “isn’t” and so on. So here you can in these examples how our minds process in the positive naturally: and we as humans have learnt to add the negative. So when making new year resolutions, it is important to decide what goal we want and what we want from it, and to avoid the list of don’t wants.

The good news is that you can just as easily learn how to process your thoughts positively using language by coaching in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), thereby un-learning negative thought processes.

Emotions too are key to success. Likewise if you feel you MUST change because of what someone else expects from you, consider for a moment how the subconscious mind interprets “must”. The word “must” implies an element of force, thereby associating negative emotions to the resolution. This compromises your commitment and intention to change, plus has the sense that you are being deprived of something pleasurable; therefore the whole thing lacks fun and excitement. Hardly a recipe for longevity, but more likely for disaster!

Just by spending some time looking at what you want a little deeper, you can ascertain your level of intention and motivation. These are key players as to whether your resolution will be a success. For example, you may uncover a hidden benefit from not changing. After all, the behaviour many people want to stop/change could be meeting some of their needs – if it wasn’t they might not be doing it in the first place. So when thinking about what you want, in order to succeed it is important to know what it is that you want, and to always state your goal (desired outcome) in the positive, and be aware of the reasons why you want it.

Knowing when you have got what you want? This is an important step in goal setting. To be successful in achieving your desired goal, you will need to ask yourself “what do I want?” in relation to every aspect of your life for example; health, career, relationships, financial etc. and secondly how will you know when you've got it? So maybe your goal is to be slim? The question now to ask is “How will you know when you are slim? “Your answer may be – “when I can wear my size 12 jeans”. This is an objective logical conscious thought and has no emotion attached to it. But it is a start.

Now you need to get your unconscious mind involved, using your imagination to create an image of yourself wearing your size 12 jeans. When you have the image, step into the image and ask yourself what you see, hear and feel. Feel the response of others towards you. Remember the more vividly a goal is imagined the more your unconscious mind can help you achieve it.

If the emotions you are experiencing are exciting, pleasant and desirable, then you can start to persuade your subconscious mind to accept a slimmer you. Now you will know what you will feel like when you succeed. This is how you will know when you’ve got what you want.

The Power of Emotions – the key to the desires of your heart

Modern brain imaging technology can see activity in the brain, and scientists can now show that there is proven link between the number and strength of neural pathways that are associated with a thought and behaviour. Through this technology we can now know that when a person is in a highly emotional state the neural connections are stronger and longer lasting than when they are in a calm state.

One of the reasons most people fail in achieving their New Year resolutions is because the decision to change is done casually, with little or no emotion whatsoever, and with no strong emotional reasons as to why. Goal setting should not be taken lightly. It is a vitally important and serious matter, after all, this is your life and it is not a rehearsal!

Beliefs and Expectations determine the outcome what you believe about yourself and the world around you will determine your success or failure. If you are confident about your ability, you can do something, even when you’ve never done it before, your attitude and approach to the task will be positive, and your actions will produce a positive result.
Furthermore, if you believe in your ability, you are more likely to see problems that come up as challenges and not as obstacles, you will be more open to find solutions, and to seek out other people who can help you and learn from them. This tenacity and attitude will not go unnoticed by others and people will become to know you as someone who is focused and can achieve and work things out, thereby re-enforcing and validating your belief in yourself and your own capabilities.

Likewise, on the other hand, if you don’t believe you are capable in achieving the task, because you don’t see the point, or you don’t know how, then your attitude, enthusiasm and thinking will be limited, and your actions will be half-hearted. As a result you will give up before very long, that’s if you even start in the first place. Other people will not take you seriously and decline from supporting you in your efforts.

All this is likely to put you off from attempting anything else in the future. Your expectations are a dominant force in determining the outcome, in short, if you expect to fail – you will! Do you value yourself? When making promises to yourself do you let yourself down?
Hypnotherapy and NLP coaching can help you understand where these limiting beliefs come from and help you let go of them and install new empowering ones. Through this process you can let go of the past and adopt new ways of living. Many people that are serious about their goals and achievements have taken this route to success.

The process of change Goal Setting – the importance of visualization.

What does being successful feel like? Another law of the mind is that the unconscious cannot tell the difference between reality and fantasy. The use of visualization and imagery helps us to “programme” our minds to accept something that we would like to become, and work with us in turning that into a reality. By incorporating our emotions through our imagination and visualization we are enabling our mind to accept our desired outcome. The more we do this, the more powerful this becomes, and strengthens the belief that attaining this desired outcome (goal) is achievable.

Do not underestimate the power of visualization. Once our mind has accepted the desired outcome as a reality, then it will work towards manifesting that reality in our lives.

Goal setting – the importance of repeated positive affirmations.

Goal setting is not a one-time event. Our brains are naturally programmed so that certain behaviours keep repeating themselves.

Scientists can now tell us that new neural patterns begin to form only after they have been repeated enough times and studies show this to be around 30 days without a break. Most people make their resolutions on 1st January and never repeat or reinforce their desire for change. As a result their resolutions wither and die. Forcing new behaviours through conscious effort (i.e. Willpower) quickly fizzle out as no new habits are formed and the person slips back to their old ways – often feeling worse than before, feeling useless, weak, guilty, and a failure.

By repeating positive affirmations to ourselves over and over each day, the possibility gradually takes root in the subconscious mind. This means thinking in positive terms, mental pictures, affirming your goals out loud to yourself, every day repeatedly many times, until the new habit is formed by your subconscious mind switching it to think the new behaviours/thoughts to “automatic”.

You may even like to write them down, or put positive images around to constantly remind you. Willpower alone often fails us and may only cause to exacerbate the problem as each repeated failure pours down more self-judgment of shame, guilt, and blame. By trying to force new behaviours using willpower while continuing with your old ways of thinking, failure is inevitable. This is because willpower is a conscious activity. Now imagine your mind is like an iceberg. The smaller part is visible and above the surface of the ocean (this is the conscious mind) and the larger part is hidden under the surface (the sub-conscious). Most of our automatic behaviour (habits or learned behaviour) is under sub-conscious control, hidden with little no effort involved often manifested without us even having to think. If we don’t change negative learning and thought patterns that our subconscious minds have absorbed during our formative years and the past our minds may be like that larger part of the ice-berg that sunk the Titanic by sabotaging our good intentions.

The good news is we can deal with this inner conflict by learning new thought processes, responses and behaviours by harnessing the larger power of the subconscious mind to work for us and not against us.

Goal setting – Putting them into context.

This is an important process as it narrows each goal down to be specific, and in a time line. Change is not one big leap, but a series of steps along the way towards the desired outcome. Each step has to become attainable, measurable and realistic. You will need to ask yourself when – defining timescales, where – place and with whom. To change you need to be able to visualize the benefits of that change to help your mind understand why you want to change.

Goal setting – the importance of reviews

Earlier in this article I said that goal setting was not a one-off event. Another reason why a lot of resolutions fail is because each step towards the goal and even the desired outcome itself are not regularly reviewed. So get into the habit of periodically re-evaluating your progress at each different stage. By doing this you can learn what is working for you and understand how the changes that are taking place within you and your environment are impacting. Using this information you can make the appropriate changes as when necessary.
Check out your attitude, keep track and modify. Allow for slip-ups. In making your action plan for change you are embarking on a new journey of discovery. From each “slip-up” you will learn something new about yourself if you look for the positive. If you allow yourself to feel negative judgments then you are living in the past, and not in the present moment.

Negative Emotions

Some emotions can have a negative effect attached to their goals, and in doing so results in negative behaviour. For example; a person may become more stressed and anxious the closer he/she gets to their goal. Typically this person might become irritable, short-tempered and/or display aggressive and desperate behaviour. When this happens their conscious mind cannot make sense of it – after all why should they become more anxious when they are near to their desired outcome. What can sometimes happen is two things; one a fear of failure and secondly a fear of success. Both these fears have their roots in the subconscious mind.

It is helpful to examine this more closely in a life-coaching, therapeutic or counseling situation, as the belief that they could fail, in fact may attract that failure to themselves by exhibiting the negative behavior changes.

Hypnotherapy and NLP (Neural Linguistic Programming) are excellent ways of achieving a "spring clear out". These approaches help you get rid of any negative emotions, and let go of limiting beliefs, replacing them with empowering thoughts that attract the results you want. No such thing as failure – Just lessons towards success!

Failure shows us what does not work and points us towards another direction. As individuals it is up to us to make a decision whether we are going to repeat ideas and ways that have shown us not to work, or whether, if we are serious about wanting to change, to take a new path in a different direction. If you are focused on your desired outcome, you can use any “slip-backs” as lessons and learn from them, in order to proceed forward.

And remember; change takes time – accept that and be focused. New year resolutions can have a positive theme, in that that the annual ritual can be used as an effective tool that offers us an opportunity to take stock and re-evaluate our progress, assess our lives and to identify areas of change and/or modification. They can be pivotal in inspiring us for new experiences that lay ahead.

Jackie Hill, Psychotherapist & Trainer